waving the white flag

The "In case of fraud or deception, call the MBK hotline at this number..." signs posted on the fourth floor of the mall should have been my first hint.

I returned to MBK today planning to return my (probably) fake SanDisk flash drive and get my money back. I had every intention of being diplomatic, but negotiations broke down pretty quickly.

My first approach was the, "Oh, I took it home and then realized it was the wrong thing." The girl wasn't buying it, so I quickly moved on to the, "I changed my mind and I just don't like this one" excuse. No luck there, either.

I came out and said it: "I looked this flash drive up on SanDisk's Web site. I know this one is a fake, and I want to return it."

"No, no, not possible. No refunds or exchanges. But if you want to trade it for a Kingston..."

"No, I don't want to trade, I want my money back."

"I guarantee this is one million percent real SanDisk."

"That's not a percentage, and no, it isn't."

This went on for some time. I threatened to call the fraud hotline. She dared me to.

Some Spaniards came up wanting to buy camera batteries. She ignored me and moved over to help them. Irritated by her lack of couth, I figured I'd cost her some business.

I got the travelers' attention. "No deben comprar nada aqui... Son deshonestos." They looked at me, looked at her, put down the battery, and said, "Muchas Gracias."

"De nada."

They left. The lady turned back to me, furious. I certainly hadn't done myself any favors.

I walked toward the big, fat man at the back of the store. I asked him to please help me. I begged, I pleaded, I told him I was a teacher with no money. I said he could give me only 500, so that he'd still be making money and he could sell the drive to someone else. He refused to see reason.

A younger man - maybe his son? - came up to talk to me. I explained myself and got the same responses from him. I went back to the front to pester lady number one again.

She was still fuming. "Why you come and buy and then try to return? Why you tell my customers to go away so they don buy??"

A scary, older woman in gaudy jewelry, long fingernails, and a floral print shirt walked up. They started talking in Thai. They said they were going to get the mall police.

A girl sitting at the front suggested that I leave. She was shopping there and she spoke good English. I asked her if she could explain to the saleslady. She didn't want to get involved, and said the women might hit me.

"Hit me? Like, punch me? Are you serious??"

She was serious. So I kept my distance. Gaudy-jewelry lady pointed her finger in my face, and held it there, telling me to get out.

I kept telling them I'd leave and never bother them again if they'd just refund my money. They'd have none of it.

I was there for a good 40 minutes when I decided to find a mall help desk. I found two blue-suited ladies on the second floor, explained my plight, filed an official complaint, and walked back upstairs with them to show them the shop.

They walked inside to speak with the owner. I stayed just outside, trying to make myself scarce. They waved me in and the older lady gave me the most poisonous look I've ever seen.

In the end, the owner gave his guarantee of the drive's authenticity (which means... nothing). I was too exhausted to argue, and I was late for my dinner plans.

They win, this time. And I learned not to buy electronics from little shops in MBK.