the beach, or: what i imagined thailand to be

Having grown weary of the pollution, bad smells, and crowding of the city, our group of 21 American teachers decided to venture to a nearby island called Ko Samet. The first leg of the journey was a van ride from Victory Monument to Banphe. This van operation was run out of a purple tent and the "tickets" were... unofficial, to say the least.

The van ride normally takes three to three and a half hours. We got there in two and a half. Our driver couldn't be bothered with that whole "stopping at traffic lights" thing. He would turn left at the light and then turn left again immediately to catch the green light at the intersection.

We took a 15-minute speedboat ride from Banphe to the island, avoiding the state park entrance fee of 200 baht by doing so.

The entire journey cost about $9 and took between three and four hours.

Our hotel was made up of little bungalows. They were simple inside, but comfortable enough. And cheap - which is the really important thing - with four people to a room. The hotel for two nights cost around $18 a person. Not bad at all.

We ate lots of good food, lounged around in the sand, played in the waves, and got eaten up by mosquitoes. Glorious - except for the mosquito part. That was actually kind of miserable. I scratched the bites on my legs, which, combined with the heat, was too much for my poor skin to take. It's getting better since I've been back.

I had one creeper incident, although he wasn't too much of a creeper. The first morning there, Mariela and I went out early to look for a quiet piece of beach. We set our towels out and laid down to nap. When we woke up and sat up to look at the ocean, a Thai man in torn jeans was walking by. He came up to us, trying to introduce himself and his friend. He said something about a camera and we shook our heads, not understanding. He walked away for a minute and came back holding a camera. He wanted a picture with me. By this point, I was confused. Was this his hobby? Collecting photos of himself at the beach posing with random white girls? It's a lame hobby, if you ask me. He'd be much better served by learning to garden.

I tried to tell him I didn't want my picture taken. He wouldn't be dissuaded, so I figured it'd be less trouble to just smile for the camera. He bent down next to me and his friend snapped the photo. When he stood up, I held out my hand palm up and demanded, "20 baht! 20 baht!" "Oh, no, no..." he said. Then he went to Mariela and took a picture with her. They walked away. A minute later camera man was back, holding a bottle of water. He offered it timidly, trying to tell us what it was. We caught the word "osmosis," but that was about it. He left for good, and we started laughing. And no, we didn't drink it.

Friday and Saturday night we watched fire shows at two different restaurants. The second night it was all really young guys, from ages 14 to 19ish. The had rap music playing and each one came out individually to do tricks. The first guy was twirling what amounted to a Molotov cocktail. He was the most impressive, in my opinion, because it seems like it'd be harder to spin and throw and catch a bottle than it would a long stick. He was even dancing to the music while juggling the bottle between his hands and throwing and spinning it into the air.

I've told some of you about my laser lawn cutter idea. As it turns out, the Germans have already done that. I've got a new product idea for a different niche market: A braille oven/stove. I haven't checked Google to see if it's been done, but I think blind people should be able to bake brownies just like everyone else.