bulletin board #5: december

Santa's in a cookie coma.

feast of the east

The kids had their New Year's party on Tuesday. It was a half day (lovely) and the morning was spent giving food offerings to some monks and then watching the students put on a talent show.

There were two first graders who compete (and win) at ballroom dancing competitions. It was amazing. Like watching So You Think You Can Dance, but in miniature. They salsaed and rhumbaed and Lindy hopped. I was jealous.

We went to the classrooms after the festivities. All the students brought food and each grade level feasted.

There were tons of leftovers. I took home some chocolate cake for dinner. As we were getting ready to go home, Sukjai burst into the office with three big bags. He handed one to me.

"Here you go! Leftover fishballs."
Mmmm. My fave.

Don't get me wrong. I love a good, mushed-up wad of fish as much as the next person, but honestly: is there anything appetizing about that picture?

Five of us piled into a cab outside the gates of the school grounds. I looked over at the driver, pulled the bag of fishballs out of my purse, and asked, "Do you like these?"

He laughed and said, "OK."

I handed them over. "Happy New Year!"

Amy ended up giving her bag to a homeless guy. It was the gift that keeps on giving.

par-tay numero dos

Just when I thought my job couldn't be any weirder...

I, along with my colleagues Amy and Erin, attended our school's New Year's party on Monday night. It included a talent show and a multi-course meal that cost 300 baht for everyone but us, we were told. Just another reason why the Thai teachers resent us; but that's another topic for another day.

The first course, a soup, came out in a great big tureen. Pikay and Sukjai offered to serve us. "What is it?" Amy asked, as she eyed the gluey, viscous brown broth with mushrooms and clear chunky bits bobbing around.

"It's made from the belly of the fish," Sukjai answered, pointing to his own torso.

Amy was able to gracefully decline. I wasn't so lucky. Pikay made sure to fill my bowl up with delightfully chunky fish belly fat. Does a body good!

I sipped some broth, carefully avoiding solid bits and trying not to think about its contents. Amy breathed slowly, looking away and trying not to "yak all over the table," according to her.

Thankfully, we were distracted by some of the male student teachers performing as sequin-bedecked drag queens. Did I mention that this was the weirdest work party ever?

Christmas in the twilight zone

I went to a Christmas party last night and learned that everyone isn't the same as me. Whaddaya know?

We played Christmas charades. I think I was the only Christian on Team Ebeneezer, because my teammates had a hard time acting out and guessing some of the more traditional songs. I couldn't believe it when one British guy didn't know "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing."

I had a great Christmas week. Kristy bought us each a stocking, which we hung by the bookshelf with care. We did Secret Santa and tried our best to be sneaky.

Sunday night was candlelight, carols, mulled wine, and mincemeat pies at church.

On Tuesday, classes were shortened to 15 minutes long because a group of traditional Chinese dancers came to perform at school.

Thursday we had three peformances of the Christmas show. A group of students from another school came and acted out a story of a lame lamb who gave his wool to baby Jesus. The farang teachers sang "Go Tell it on the Mountain," "Angels We Have Heard on High," and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" with a choir of our students.

We woke up early Friday morning and gathered in Kristy's room under her Christmas tree to drink hot chocolate and open presents. Later, we cooked makeshift Christmas lunch in the office microwave. Instant mashed potatoes and microwave stuffing are surprisingly tasty.

It didn't feel much like Christmas without cold weather, sweaters, and family, but it was still a festive week.

shopaholism

I've never been a big shopper. I'm a saver by nature. When I've got money, I don't like to let go of it. Plus, shopping is (almost always) a huge pain.

Thai people love shopping. It's what they do. All. The. Time.

A big expo of Thai handicrafts from all over the country came to town last Saturday and ends this weekend.

We went on opening day and spent nine hours there. NINE HOURS! My shoulders were in knots for days from lugging my purchases around.

I bought myself seven scarves. I'm from Texas. Winter is like two minutes long there. But they're silk, they're pretty, they're cheap (compared to silk in the U.S.), and I couldn't stop.

I also bought six or seven pairs of earrings. I lost count. I'd just go up to a jewelry stand, take a look, pick something, and pull out my wallet.

I got home and realized I hadn't bought any scarves for my mom, so Mariela and I are going back this Saturday to pick up a few last items.

'tis better to give...

I had my first bite of a traditional English pudding at the work Christmas party. It wasn't awesome. It tasted like raisins. I'm not sure what all the hype is about.

We had tons of food, I discovered a new salad recipe, and, after the gift exchange, my coworker Amy learned that you probably shouldn't go around pretending your stuffed, blue gingham water buffalo is a dog and begging people to trade. You will eventually run into the person who brought said buffalo, and you will embarrass yourself.

This was supposed to be a nice gift exchange, as opposed to a White Elephant exchange. The spending limit was 400 baht (about $12). The gift had to be appropriate for either sex.

It's funny, sometimes, the things people bring. There was the infamous buffalo that belonged in a Thai baby's crib, a People magazine, and a bag of Swedish fish. There were also gift cards to Starbucks, boxes of chocolate, and a cute mug accompanied by a box of Twinings tea.

It's so hit or miss sometimes, and people who bring really nice gifts are inevitably disappointed when they receive something like a giant curve-handled old person umbrella (how the heck are we supposed to get that home in a suitcase?!).

What do you prefer: "real gift" exchanges or White Elephant ones? Do you spend up to the limit? How do you find a gift for both genders?

deck the halls with cows and chickens

I never dreamed Christmas would be such a big deal here in Bangkok. There are decorations in every mall (and there's a mall on just about every block), so things are looking pretty festive. The grocery store in Siam Paragon is even playing Christmas music.

Our school Christmas program is on the 25th. In the past, the American teachers coordinated it. This year, for whatever reason, the parents volunteered to take over. We were totally cool with that.

They've invited a performing group to come in and act out a Christmas play for the students. In a department meeting, Sutima showed us some brown sack puppets featuring horses, cats, pigs, and other animals.

She said we would need to make one for each student to use during the show. There are 720 students in Prathom.

We looked at each other and looked back at her, confused about why the students needed barnyard puppets during the Christmas program.

The performing group would be leading the children in singing "Old MacDonald." Festive, right?

Fortunately, Nummon acted as our advocate and convinced the other teachers it would be too much work for the kids to use them in just one song. Reason triumphs, for once!

have you ever been on a shrimp boat?

Shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. There's, um, shrimp kebabs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir fried. There's pineapple shrimp and lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich... That's, that's about it.
- Bubba, from Forrest Gump



Though Bubba's list is impressive, it's not quite complete.

Today, while walking past a Pringles display in Big C, I came across these:

That's right, grilled shrimp flavored Pringles. Correction: pink grilled shrimp flavored Pringles.


I almost snapped a photo in the store and left it at that, but I couldn't deny you all, dear readers, the opportunity to know whether the chips are revolting, delicious, or somewhere in between. So I bought them.

While not quite as bubblegum pink as the package suggests, the chips do have a lovely, rosy hue. And they're not half bad, either.

easiest week ever

I only had to teach one day this week! We had Monday off for the King's birthday. On Tuesday, third through sixth grade spent the morning at the movie theater, watching a documentary about the royal family. Wednesday was normal, but we had today off for Constitution Day.

A few of the girls and I spent our day off riding bikes and checking out some 500-year-old ruins in Ayutthaya, the ancient capital of Siam.

Our magic school ID badges didn't get us into the ruins for free, unfortunately, meaning we had to pay 50 baht at each one. My fellow bikers weren't interested in doing this too many times, since we'd already been to see Angkor in Cambodia back in July.

We ended up only really exploring two different ruins. I would've liked to see more, but democracy wins, I guess. Maybe I'll go back some Saturday.

Pattaya/Jomtien Beach/Koh Larn

We had Monday off for HM's birthday, so I went with a group to Pattaya. The place has a bad reputation, and not without reason. It's known as the sex capital of Thailand, and it's run by the Russian mafia. OK. That last part may not be true. One of my comrades was saying it. I'm not sure where she got her information.

We stayed pretty far away from the sketchy parts, in an area called Jomtien Beach. I never actually set foot on the beach there, because there wasn't much sand and the water wasn't nice.

On Saturday, four girls and I went to a vineyard about 20 minutes from town. We spent a long time there, but, stupidly, failed to secure a songthaew ride back to Jomtien. It got dark and became all too apparent that songthaews and taxis didn't really drive out to that area much (or ever).

We talked with the security staff who said we could get a ride with one of them if we paid 500B for gas. We had only paid 200 to get out there.

Christy and I ventured into the poorly-lit parking lot. We avoided some loitering guys and headed toward a group of women. We explained our problem and they offered to give us a ride closer to town. We jumped in the back of their pickup and enjoyed the cool night air.

Sunday and Monday, we took a ferry to Koh Larn. The motorbike ride to Tawaen beach was hilly. I looked past the driver's shoulder and gasped. Past the tree tops I could see a beautiful, white stretch of sand bordered by deep turquoise water down below.

We rented beach chairs beneath umbrellas and I read and drank smoothies and played cards and relished the beauty of Thailand for two days.

I'm spoiled, I know, but you guys can come over and visit at any time. We'll soak in some rays, OK? OK.

tickled pink?

For those who aren't in the know about the state of the King of Thailand, his health is deteriorating and he's been in the hospital for about two months.

Yesterday at work, our boss made an announcement.

"You need to wear pink every day in December, starting tomorrow."
Right. Okay. Thanks for the giving us plenty of time to find a new work wardrobe.

The King's astrologer, or someone, prescribed pink as an auspicious color to promote his health. The last time he left the hospital, he wore a pale pink shirt. If if we wear pink, he'll get better sooner.

I don't have any pink shirts, and I didn't have time to go shopping yesterday. I put on what I thought was the next best thing: a skirt with pink roses printed all over it. There are bits of black in the background of the print, but, overall, the skirt is dark and light pink. I wore a black top with it.

Nummon motioned for me to follow her into the hallway this morning. She had a pink pashmina in her hand and a concerned look on her face.

"Lalen, you need to wear this today. Your clothes are more like 80% black and 20% pink. No one in the school has to know this isn't your scarf."

I don't know who taught her percentages. I was under the impression that my ensemble was 50/50. But colors are taken seriously here, and black is a color of mourning. It's easier to nod and smile and wear the scarf.

So, today I'm experimenting with different scarf styles: