another half-baked idea

I've gotten used to sharing my living quarters with diverse flora and fauna over the last ten months -- ants, geckos, mold, cockroaches... I usually ignore them as best I can, but the thought of a roach scurrying around while I sleep gives me the creeps.

Killing them presents a problem for me; stepping on them is the most efficient method, but the crunching noise it makes is too horrible to bear. I decided last night I couldn't do it anymore. I needed a less hands-on means of destruction.

When I got home from Saxophone and turned on my bedroom light, I spotted one of the little fiends near my closet. One swift throw of my sneaker and the roach was on its back, frantically kicking its filthy little legs.

I grabbed a bottle of Off! from my vanity and crouched down to poison the sucker. Twenty-five sprays seemed sufficient. Eventually, he lay still in a shallow pool of mosquito repellent. I scooped him up with a piece of paper and flushed him.

I cleaned up the bug spray with Wet Wipes, turned off my lights, and got into bed, only to get right back up again when I realized I'd lose 50% of my brain cells overnight if I slept in those fumes.

I turned my fan on. It wasn't enough. I changed positions so my head would be as far from the spray as possible, but I could still smell it. I got up and found my surgical mask (a leftover from the swine flu scare). I put it on and laid back down, imagining how ridiculous I looked sleeping in a face mask. Finally, I opened the sliding door to my balcony and left the screen door shut.

So far today, brain activity seems normal.

Last week in pictures

I see weird things in Bangkok all the time, but I don't always have my camera ready to capture them. Here are a few serendipitous moments from last week:

This was taken at a small promotional event for the new Michael Jackson movie in a bookstore in the Siam Paragon mall.



I have no idea what a horse's head has to do with MJ.


Moving on.



Apparently, having Mickey Mouse's arse sewn to yours is a fashion statement.


An last, an ad on the BTS for a local fast food place. Wedged between some OK-looking spaghetti and a pretty cake is a box-o-weiners.



Because what respectable party spread doesn't include the family-sized box of franks sliced to look like flower blooms?

they're causing me alarm

Ants are an inevitability in any apartment in Bangkok. I was warned before I left the U.S., but I was unprepared for the irksome reality.

They crawl across the floor, on your bed, and up and down the tile bathroom walls. They're on the table. They're on the dresser. They're outside, inside, everywhere. They eat things. They are incredibly resourceful little beasties.

A few weeks ago, I was digging through one of my suitcases, looking for a shirt I had packed away. I noticed an ant, and wondered what business it had nosing around in my luggage.

I moved some shirts. More ants. I dumped everything out of the suitcase, trying to see what they were after. I found the answer in a mesh side pocket: A chewy peanut buttery granola bar.

I am baffled as to how they sniffed it out. Its shiny plastic package was unopened and zipped away in the bottom of a suitcase. When I inspected the wrapper, I could see tiny holes where ants had eaten through the plastic. I took it outside to my balcony and gingerly unwrapped it. They were swarming over the peanut butter deliciousness that was meant to be my going-home snack in April. Phooey.

That was the craziest thing I'd seen them do, until yesterday. I was putting a shirt in my laundry bag and noticed one of the little fiends crawling around in my dirty clothes. I pulled out a shirt and shook it. I took everything out of the bag and found three or four ants.

I inspected my clothes, because I'd heard the ants are attracted to sweat. A pair of brand new underwear had tiny little ANT HOLES in it. Grrrrrrrr. I was so mad!

I gave all the clothes a thorough shaking and laid them on a chair. I went on tidying my room, organizing my shelf and throwing things away. I moved an unopened box of tampons and saw an ant crawling along the seal.

What the heck?! I wondered.

I opened the box and ants swarmed out! I gave a yelp and dropped it. I dumped the contents out. Ants, ants, ants, crawling all over the stupid tampons! It didn't look like they had eaten through the wrappers, but what were they doing in there??

Like everything here, it's useless to fight it. You either adjust, or walk around in ant-eaten clothes. So, I'm going to start washing the sweat out of my clothes in the sink and hanging them up to dry before putting them in the laundry bag.

There are some things about Thailand I won't miss. Crazy sweat-eaters are one of them.

photos from last weekend

the facts of life

When I walked into class today, I noticed a group of students - mostly boys - crowded around a window. They seemed fascinated. Naturally, I walked over to see what had captured their attention.

Perched on the window was a small fly, with a larger one on its back. Now, I'm no entomologist, but I think we all know what that means.

I shooed the students back to their seats and left the flies to their own devices.

Any time there was an opportunity to get up during class (bathroom breaks, turning in papers, etc.), they would go to the window to check on the flies.

Awesome.