another half-baked idea

I've gotten used to sharing my living quarters with diverse flora and fauna over the last ten months -- ants, geckos, mold, cockroaches... I usually ignore them as best I can, but the thought of a roach scurrying around while I sleep gives me the creeps.

Killing them presents a problem for me; stepping on them is the most efficient method, but the crunching noise it makes is too horrible to bear. I decided last night I couldn't do it anymore. I needed a less hands-on means of destruction.

When I got home from Saxophone and turned on my bedroom light, I spotted one of the little fiends near my closet. One swift throw of my sneaker and the roach was on its back, frantically kicking its filthy little legs.

I grabbed a bottle of Off! from my vanity and crouched down to poison the sucker. Twenty-five sprays seemed sufficient. Eventually, he lay still in a shallow pool of mosquito repellent. I scooped him up with a piece of paper and flushed him.

I cleaned up the bug spray with Wet Wipes, turned off my lights, and got into bed, only to get right back up again when I realized I'd lose 50% of my brain cells overnight if I slept in those fumes.

I turned my fan on. It wasn't enough. I changed positions so my head would be as far from the spray as possible, but I could still smell it. I got up and found my surgical mask (a leftover from the swine flu scare). I put it on and laid back down, imagining how ridiculous I looked sleeping in a face mask. Finally, I opened the sliding door to my balcony and left the screen door shut.

So far today, brain activity seems normal.