bulletin board #5: december

Santa's in a cookie coma.

feast of the east

The kids had their New Year's party on Tuesday. It was a half day (lovely) and the morning was spent giving food offerings to some monks and then watching the students put on a talent show.

There were two first graders who compete (and win) at ballroom dancing competitions. It was amazing. Like watching So You Think You Can Dance, but in miniature. They salsaed and rhumbaed and Lindy hopped. I was jealous.

We went to the classrooms after the festivities. All the students brought food and each grade level feasted.

There were tons of leftovers. I took home some chocolate cake for dinner. As we were getting ready to go home, Sukjai burst into the office with three big bags. He handed one to me.

"Here you go! Leftover fishballs."
Mmmm. My fave.

Don't get me wrong. I love a good, mushed-up wad of fish as much as the next person, but honestly: is there anything appetizing about that picture?

Five of us piled into a cab outside the gates of the school grounds. I looked over at the driver, pulled the bag of fishballs out of my purse, and asked, "Do you like these?"

He laughed and said, "OK."

I handed them over. "Happy New Year!"

Amy ended up giving her bag to a homeless guy. It was the gift that keeps on giving.

par-tay numero dos

Just when I thought my job couldn't be any weirder...

I, along with my colleagues Amy and Erin, attended our school's New Year's party on Monday night. It included a talent show and a multi-course meal that cost 300 baht for everyone but us, we were told. Just another reason why the Thai teachers resent us; but that's another topic for another day.

The first course, a soup, came out in a great big tureen. Pikay and Sukjai offered to serve us. "What is it?" Amy asked, as she eyed the gluey, viscous brown broth with mushrooms and clear chunky bits bobbing around.

"It's made from the belly of the fish," Sukjai answered, pointing to his own torso.

Amy was able to gracefully decline. I wasn't so lucky. Pikay made sure to fill my bowl up with delightfully chunky fish belly fat. Does a body good!

I sipped some broth, carefully avoiding solid bits and trying not to think about its contents. Amy breathed slowly, looking away and trying not to "yak all over the table," according to her.

Thankfully, we were distracted by some of the male student teachers performing as sequin-bedecked drag queens. Did I mention that this was the weirdest work party ever?

Christmas in the twilight zone

I went to a Christmas party last night and learned that everyone isn't the same as me. Whaddaya know?

We played Christmas charades. I think I was the only Christian on Team Ebeneezer, because my teammates had a hard time acting out and guessing some of the more traditional songs. I couldn't believe it when one British guy didn't know "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing."

I had a great Christmas week. Kristy bought us each a stocking, which we hung by the bookshelf with care. We did Secret Santa and tried our best to be sneaky.

Sunday night was candlelight, carols, mulled wine, and mincemeat pies at church.

On Tuesday, classes were shortened to 15 minutes long because a group of traditional Chinese dancers came to perform at school.

Thursday we had three peformances of the Christmas show. A group of students from another school came and acted out a story of a lame lamb who gave his wool to baby Jesus. The farang teachers sang "Go Tell it on the Mountain," "Angels We Have Heard on High," and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" with a choir of our students.

We woke up early Friday morning and gathered in Kristy's room under her Christmas tree to drink hot chocolate and open presents. Later, we cooked makeshift Christmas lunch in the office microwave. Instant mashed potatoes and microwave stuffing are surprisingly tasty.

It didn't feel much like Christmas without cold weather, sweaters, and family, but it was still a festive week.

shopaholism

I've never been a big shopper. I'm a saver by nature. When I've got money, I don't like to let go of it. Plus, shopping is (almost always) a huge pain.

Thai people love shopping. It's what they do. All. The. Time.

A big expo of Thai handicrafts from all over the country came to town last Saturday and ends this weekend.

We went on opening day and spent nine hours there. NINE HOURS! My shoulders were in knots for days from lugging my purchases around.

I bought myself seven scarves. I'm from Texas. Winter is like two minutes long there. But they're silk, they're pretty, they're cheap (compared to silk in the U.S.), and I couldn't stop.

I also bought six or seven pairs of earrings. I lost count. I'd just go up to a jewelry stand, take a look, pick something, and pull out my wallet.

I got home and realized I hadn't bought any scarves for my mom, so Mariela and I are going back this Saturday to pick up a few last items.

'tis better to give...

I had my first bite of a traditional English pudding at the work Christmas party. It wasn't awesome. It tasted like raisins. I'm not sure what all the hype is about.

We had tons of food, I discovered a new salad recipe, and, after the gift exchange, my coworker Amy learned that you probably shouldn't go around pretending your stuffed, blue gingham water buffalo is a dog and begging people to trade. You will eventually run into the person who brought said buffalo, and you will embarrass yourself.

This was supposed to be a nice gift exchange, as opposed to a White Elephant exchange. The spending limit was 400 baht (about $12). The gift had to be appropriate for either sex.

It's funny, sometimes, the things people bring. There was the infamous buffalo that belonged in a Thai baby's crib, a People magazine, and a bag of Swedish fish. There were also gift cards to Starbucks, boxes of chocolate, and a cute mug accompanied by a box of Twinings tea.

It's so hit or miss sometimes, and people who bring really nice gifts are inevitably disappointed when they receive something like a giant curve-handled old person umbrella (how the heck are we supposed to get that home in a suitcase?!).

What do you prefer: "real gift" exchanges or White Elephant ones? Do you spend up to the limit? How do you find a gift for both genders?

deck the halls with cows and chickens

I never dreamed Christmas would be such a big deal here in Bangkok. There are decorations in every mall (and there's a mall on just about every block), so things are looking pretty festive. The grocery store in Siam Paragon is even playing Christmas music.

Our school Christmas program is on the 25th. In the past, the American teachers coordinated it. This year, for whatever reason, the parents volunteered to take over. We were totally cool with that.

They've invited a performing group to come in and act out a Christmas play for the students. In a department meeting, Sutima showed us some brown sack puppets featuring horses, cats, pigs, and other animals.

She said we would need to make one for each student to use during the show. There are 720 students in Prathom.

We looked at each other and looked back at her, confused about why the students needed barnyard puppets during the Christmas program.

The performing group would be leading the children in singing "Old MacDonald." Festive, right?

Fortunately, Nummon acted as our advocate and convinced the other teachers it would be too much work for the kids to use them in just one song. Reason triumphs, for once!